The Choose your own Adventure Romance Challenge

Are you looking for a way to rekindle the connection in your relationship? A romance challenge might be just what you need!

Now, do you remember those amazing, action-packed Choose your own Adventure books of our youth? Since all couples have different struggles and enjoy different activities together, I think using a customized Choose your own Adventure approach to a romance challenge will make the experience even more beneficial for your relationship.

Are you ready to bring back that loving feeling? (Queue Tom Cruise circa 1986 in that incredible uniform.) Let’s walk through all the ways a challenge can improve your relationship and create your personalized romantic adventure. Are you and your partner up to the challenge?

Romance Challenge - Couple snuggling with coffee

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Why do a Choose your own Adventure Romance Challenge with your partner? 

Let’s be honest. No one (and therefore, no couple) is perfect — there is always something to be worked on in every relationship. The longer you ignore underlying problems and don’t prioritize your relationship, the harder it will be to build back those broken pieces with your partner.

The premise of a romance challenge is to focus on areas of YOUR relationship and YOUR life that need some extra TLC (as in “tender loving care,” not the 90’s female hip hop group). By intentionally participating in activities that enhance your communication skills, promote empathy for each other, or just bring joy and fun back into your relationship, you will create a stronger and happier relationship with your loved one. 

What does a Romance Challenge include?

Like any fitness or habit challenge you see discussed on social media, a romance challenge is simply taking daily action to work on your relationship for a specified amount of time. 

So what should you do? Well, that depends on your relationship. I’d recommend starting with a couple checkup or, at the very least, a discussion with your spouse about what areas of your marriage can be improved. Then, you can craft the ideal challenge that feels right for your situation. 

Choose your own (Romantic) Adventure

Once you and your partner have an idea of where to focus, commit to a duration of time to focus on daily action for the challenge. You can choose one activity to do every day for 14 days, or you can pick a few things to rotate every week for 30 days. Remember, this is your romantic adventure — you get to decide what will be the most enjoyable and fulfilling for your relationship.

Here are a few ideas of activities to try to get your romantic plans started!

Romance Challenge - Couple snuggling with coffee

Improve communication and understanding

The best way to improve communication is with practice. Try one of these interactive activities to ensure you and your partner are speaking the same (love) language.

  1. Set aside 10-20 minutes daily or routinely to talk about your days and how you’re feeling — without distractions. 
  2. Play a couple’s question card game to get the conversation flowing. We love the couple’s edition of We’re Not Really Strangers for light and fun conversations or the {THE AND} card game to encourage deeper discussions.
  3. If you have a habit of bickering over little misunderstandings, practice arguing in a healthy way. Instead, focus on calmly asking questions of each other to understand each other’s intentions better. Understanding is key to communication!
  4. Try texting more! Commit to sharing more moments virtually by sending flirty messages or even a picture of something that made you laugh.
  5. Go tech-free for an evening (or more!). Turn off the TV, stop mindlessly scrolling Facebook, and play a board game or go for a walk. Enjoy the natural conversations that can happen IRL.
  6. Try to stump your partner with a game of Two Truths and a Lie. Not only can this be hilarious, you might even learn something new about your loved one!
  7. If one (or both) of you struggle to communicate, try writing letters to each other. Pick some questions or journal prompts for each other to get the words flowing. 
  8. Take turns reflecting on how you met and how you fell in love. These joyful memories are so helpful to rekindle connection and identify opportunities for improvement. Reminisce those early days and discuss ideas to bring some of that initial excitement back to your relationship.
romance tip

Fun, laughter, and intimacy are scientifically shown to enhance your romantic connection, so I recommend adding at least a few days of fun or sexy activity into your challenge to mix it up. These can count towards your daily action or extra credit! 

Have some fun

Does your relationship feel like all work and no play? If so, then you definitely need to incorporate more fun into your daily routine!

  1. Set aside 15 minutes every day to just have fun together. Take your dog to the park and play fetch together. Play a quick game of cards. Sing out loud to your favorite songs while making dinner together. Whatever you do, just make sure it’s fun!
  2. Date your spouse frequently. If you and your partner never get out of the house, then get out of the house! Book a babysitter if needed and make a reservation at your favorite restaurant or plan to see some live music. 
  3. Go on a day trip, like hiking at your nearest national park or visiting a nearby tourist attraction.
  4. Ever wanted to try ax throwing? Or bungee jumping? Try something new and adventurous together. That adrenaline rush is sure to bring you closer!
  5. Hungry for something different? Try to cook a new type of cuisine at home or take a cooking class together.
  6. Play hooky together for a mini-staycation. Pick a day to skip out on your responsibilities and stay home together. Sleep in or take a midday nap, have breakfast in bed, enjoy an afternoon delight, enjoy a movie marathon — indulge in the things you miss when adulting gets in the way.
Romance Challenge - Couple snuggling with coffee

Get up close and intimate

While getting physical can definitely be lumped into the fun category, intimacy is so much more than just sex. Intimacy requires feeling comfortable and safe with your partner on both an emotional and physical level. 

If you and your spouse struggle to make sex and intimate connection a part of your regular routine, try a few of these ideas during the challenge to reignite that spark.

  1. Engage in sexual activity (and not just intercourse) every day of the challenge. Try different activities and times of the day to spice things up. A quickie on Monday. An old-fashioned makeout-and-grope on the couch Tuesday. A morning romp on Hump Day. The more you do it, the more likely you’ll want to do it consistently in the future.
  2. Enjoy sensual activities together. Light a fragrant candle and take a warm bath or use the hot tub together. Get a couple’s massage together (or even better, give one another massages!). Play soft jazz while you feed each other succulent fruits and sweets. Engage other senses to turn up the heat.
  3. Make a point to incorporate more physical touch and affection into your day. Say goodbye with a long embrace and deep kiss instead of a quick peck on the cheek. Snuggle on the couch and hold hands during your nightly TV session. Give them a playful pat on the butt, or gently stroke their arm when you pass by. Consistent physical touch is proven to enhance connection!
  4. Play a game of naughty truth or dare. Make it up as you go, or purchase a sexy game (we love Talk Flirt Date!) to help you get started. 
  5. Go to an adult store or peruse an online shop to find a new kinky accessory or a new toy to try. Not only will you have an excuse to test out your new item, but this is an excellent opportunity to share what excites each of you.
  6. Take the extra effort to surprise your partner by wearing something naughty. A sexy teddy or costume (French maid, anyone?) for her. Silk boxers or name-your-fantasy uniform for him. I guarantee this will be a sexy encounter to remember!
Romance Challenge - Couple snuggling with coffee

Let the romance begin!

Now armed with a few ideas and a commitment to prioritize your relationship, the only thing left to do is start! Have fun coming up with your own ways to connect and enjoy your partnership. 

The best thing about a romance challenge? Unlike your favorite Choose your own Adventure book, there are countless possibilities to keep your romance challenge going in the future.

Have you ever done any sort of romance challenge with your partner? What types of activities above appeal the most for your relationship? Comment below on how you keep the romance alive!

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