Prioritize relationship rituals with a monthly couple’s to-do list

Relationship rituals are a great way to foster intimacy, connection, and stability as a couple. By adding these rituals to your monthly couple’s to-do list, you can be sure to pencil these priorities into your busy schedule.

Let’s walk through why these sweet relationship habits and traditions are so important for you as a couple and how to incorporate them into your routine.

The importance of relationship rituals

Whether it’s cooking dinner together every Friday night, going for a walk in the park on Sunday mornings, or sending each other goofy memes during the day (because who doesn’t love a good mid-workday chuckle?), personalized romance rituals create an exclusive “just-for-you” routine that both you and your partner can look forward to.

But why are these rituals so important in a relationship? Well, rituals provide a sense of consistency and reassurance within our busy everyday lives. And adding routine fun and intimate activities to your couple’s to-do list helps you stay satisfied and committed in your relationship. 

The renowned relationship experts at the Gottman Institute state that relationship rituals “are an important tool for successful relationships and a way of regularly turning towards your partner.” These little traditions, habits, and gestures help you and your partner keep the spark alive while giving intentional focus to the relationship.

How do you create rituals in a relationship?

So, how do you go about creating these magical relationship rituals? Well, it’s all about finding what works for both of you. 

It could be setting aside time each week for dinner at a restaurant or scheduling a weekly movie night at home, complete with popcorn and cozy blankets. Rituals can be small, routine actions such as bringing your partner a hot cup of coffee in bed every morning or holding hands while you’re watching TV at night. 

The best relationship ritual is the one that means something to you as a couple and you can stay consistent with.

What is the key to ensuring you keep up with your relationship rituals? Commit to making these rituals a part of your routine. Some rituals may be easier to incorporate than others — flirty texts saying you’re headed home may happen naturally — but what about activities you have to plan ahead for?

Put them on your couple’s to-do list (yes, that’s a thing!) and prioritize them into your schedule just like any other important task in your life. 

Why you should establish a monthly to-do list as a couple

Now, I get that romance and to-do lists sound like an odd pairing but hear me out. 

Humans are biologically programmed to desire routine — it feels safe and comfortable. And a pair of humans is no different! Couples tend to feel more secure in their relationships with some level of routine built in.

But what about excitement and spontaneity? Easy. As long as you incorporate plenty of fun and enjoyable relationship rituals onto your to-do list as a couple, you can still keep that spark alive. By planning to do a new activity together, you can still achieve that rush of excitement by having something to look forward to. Or, by taking turns to plan dates for your partner, you can incorporate an element of surprise and intrigue in your relationship.

How to create a monthly couple’s to-do list to schedule relationship rituals

Establishing a monthly couple’s to-do list can be an absolute game-changer for your relationship. By listing out and planning for your monthly relationship non-negotiables, you prioritize your bond and ensure you stay on the same page.

Imagine this: You both sit down with a cup of coffee (or an adult bev, if that’s more your style) once or twice a month, with your to-do list ready to conquer the world … or at least conquer your calendar with the upcoming month of romantic activities. The planning session itself can feel like a fun mini-date!

This shared to-do list isn’t just about chores and errands (although you definitely should plan for those too!). The goal is to prioritize each other amidst the chaos of daily life. 

Keep a running list of all your household and family obligations, but be sure to add your relationship rituals as well. Whether it’s planning an upcoming family vacation, scheduling a nice dinner out to celebrate your anniversary, or simply preparing for after-school pickup responsibilities, setting a routine to tackle all these must-dos and want-to-do’s regularly will make fitting it all in so much smoother.

What relationship rituals should you include on your couple’s to-do list?

The best part about adding relationship rituals to your couple’s to-do list? You get to decide what you want to do and how frequently.

Now, don’t get overwhelmed by this list — the good news is many of these rituals can be done simultaneously while still getting the same romantic benefits. (Laser tag date get your heart pumping? That may inspire a spicy makeout sesh in the car before you head home!)

Take a look at this broad list of relationship rituals to cultivate a to-do list and schedule that works for you and your partner.

1. Date night in

Incorporating dedicated time to date your spouse in the comfort of your home with your partner is the easiest and most efficient way to schedule quality time together. Ask yourself what rituals you want to incorporate regularly and how often it makes sense in your routine.

Plan for one night a month to try out a new recipe together. Or you can dedicate an evening to playing games and talking over a glass of wine after the kids go to bed. Make weekly plans to veg on the couch with a great movie after a long week. The possibilities are endless!

Ideally, you should plan to do an in-home date night as a duo about once a week, but if you can’t make that work with busy schedules or kids then do it as often as you can. Just be sure to focus on each other — no TV, social media, or work; just the two of you!

2. Date night (or day!) out

Don’t get stuck in a relationship rut by keeping all your dates under your own roof.

Take your usual dinner-and-a-movie night from the couch to the public. Go play darts or pool at your favorite bar. Indulge in a couple’s massage at a local resort.

The world is your oyster — but only if you’re willing to leave the house.

3. Try something new

Commit to doing something new and different each month. Not only will you have the pleasure of anticipating a new experience, but the act of trying something for the first time together will enhance your bond.

Plan a mini-adventure or outing together to break the routine and create memories. It could be a day trip to a nearby town, visiting a local museum, or trying a new hobby together like a cooking class or (if you feel so bold) axe throwing. 

4. Maintenance sex

Yes, sex should 100% be on your monthly couple’s to-do (pun kinda intended) list. How often, what kind, and whether or not you send a calendar invite is up to you.

Make a point to develop an intimacy routine based on your schedules. (And by all means, make sure you have adequate time and space to prioritize the process of female arousal!) 

You can try an early morning romp on Saturday before the teens are awake or a mid-day nooner once a week between scheduled appointments. Whatever your maintenance sex schedule looks like, enjoy it as one of the best perks in a committed relationship.

5. Adventurous sex

As enjoyable (and comfortable) as maintenance sex can be, adding some adventure to your bedroom routine is a surefire way to stay connected with your partner and increase sexual satisfaction in your relationship. 

It’s important to spice things up every once in a while. Try new positions, locales, and accessories whenever the urge strikes you. Enjoy!

(These sexy times are more likely to occur along with a great date night or out-of-the-norm adventure, which is why keeping up with #2 & #3 is so important!)

6. Everyday quality time

The last category is not necessarily a scheduled task but more of a practice.  These small, frequent daily rituals often have the biggest impact on your happiness in your relationship.

Think about the love notes your partner leaves behind on your mirror. Or the longer-than-half-a-second embrace when you get home at the end of the day. Or taking over dinner-making duty so your spouse can take a mental health break when you know they are feeling overwhelmed. It’s the culmination of all these little things that really sheds light on the overall health of your relationship.

Ask yourself if you and your partner are taking the time daily to connect. You’ll know if you’re not — and that’s when you should incorporate more of these rituals into your schedule.

Add relationship rituals to your couple’s to-do list for a happy, healthy partnership

Loosely scheduling our quality time as a couple has been crucial for JB and me in maintaining our strong connection over the years. With four kids, a house to maintain, and busy work schedules, it’s easier to commit to specific dates and plans ahead of time than just seeing how we feel on any given day. (Because, to be honest, as chronic homebodies we would always choose to veg on the couch!)

We spend time together after the kids go to bed at least once a week to chat and flirt over drinks while we play cards. There are certain nights of the week that (ahem) physical relations can occur more naturally to maintain a healthy sex life. We visit a new or old favorite restaurant about twice a month for date night. And sitting down to review our calendars is an absolute must-do every month to coordinate trips, appointments, kids’ schedules, and (of course) our time.

While setting a schedule may not sound romantic, I can tell you from experience that when we don’t check off most boxes on our monthly couple’s to-do list — we can tell. We tend to be out of sync with what’s going on in each other’s lives, we are not as affectionate, and we are generally more easily irritated with one another. No thanks.

So yeah, planning for the relationship rituals in our schedule is a must-do for our happy marriage. And I bet it will be a game-changer for your relationship, too.

What relationship rituals will you add to your couple’s to-do list?

You know that relationship rituals are essential to maintaining a strong emotional connection with your partner over time. And you also understand the power of creating a couple’s to-do list to schedule your monthly priorities. So now the only question is — what relationship rituals will you and your spouse add to your list?

I hope you find the ideal routine to stay on top of all your responsibilities while prioritizing your bond as a couple. Wishing you all the relationship ritual bliss!

---

What relationship rituals do you and your partner have? Do you use a couple’s to-do list to ensure you are prioritizing your relationship? Share with us in the comments!